A couple of years ago, Jeremy and I bought some land. It’s a two acre plot in a charming subdivision, a little bit out in the country, with a beautiful seven-minute drive from our current home. While there are no trees on the property now, except one Bradford pear on the verrrry edge, we can just picture white blossomed plum trees, propagated from my grandparents’ tiny orchard. And a fire-red maple tree that will make my heart glad every autumn. =)
Our land backs up to a huge field where cotton and wheat grows and the wide open sky showcases brilliant sunsets and powerful storms rolling in. And our list of neighbors is completely full of people we like. There are summer games of corn hole and visiting on porches (the second one is maybe just my daydream). But I fully intend on organizing block parties and the like, once we finally build a house out there! 😉
While we’re not exactly sure when that will be (Dave Ramsey plan, y’all), we’re wading knee-deep into house plans. And while we know some things we definitely want – and definitely don’t want – sometimes we just feel more confused than anything. One night, after probably well more than an hour of house plan searching on Pinterest, we fell into bed, frustrated that the “perfect house plan” is so elusive. We’d really like the inside of one, but the outside seemed pretty blah or even kinda homely. Or the outside would be IDEAL – I love some charming facades! – and the inside would be way too small or waaay too big. Or way too something.
As we lay there, Jeremy said something to the effect of, “You know, I feel bad that we’re so unsatisfied with plans that aren’t perfect – when there are so many people in the world who are happy with a house made out of mud.” And oh, he’s absolutely right. That very thought had been bubbling below the surface in my brain as well, but hearing it out loud…YES. And at that very moment, I reigned myself in. Or you know, the Holy Spirit probably reigned me in. 😉
Some of these thoughts have been on my conscious mind for some time, but I’m also adding to the list as I go along…as I ponder and pray over this Pretty Huge Decision. And I completely believe, with God’s help, that we will eventually find the “perfect” house plan for us. We just need to let Him guide the search. =)
And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, in the hope that they might feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us, for in him we live and move and have our being. {Acts 17:26-28}
#1 Nothing will be perfect until we get to heaven. This is one of my life mantras. As a recovering perfectionist, it’s a phrase that now immediately pops into my mind when the color of my napkins doesn’t quiiiiiite match the color of my festive paper plates…when the lights on the Christmas tree are a little sparse up there on the top right side…when that one flower is at an odd angle in my daffodil arrangement. Let’s be real. No one but me is gonna notice…or care. Or if they do, I will just recite my mantra to them. 😉 There’s still beauty in the imperfect!
And while I don’t want to live in a house plan that is poorly thought out – that actually makes everyday life more difficult than necessary – we’ve just gotta realize that the perfect house plan DOES NOT EXIST. Even if we were zillionaires and could afford to build any house we wanted, I feel absolutely certain that we would still find the need for multiple tweaks. Especially after living there awhile. “You know, having the laundry room connected to the master closet wasn’t such a great idea after all…hmmmm…in our NEXT house, we’ll blah-blah-blah.” It’s part of human nature, I’m pretty sure. But the good thing is that our God is all-knowing. And He is preparing the most perfectly perfect eternal home for us. That thought excites me! It loosens my heartstrings that want to get bound up in this world…and starts tying them to my treasure above. Where everything WILL finally be perfect. And I will sigh with relief. =)
#2 Focus on the ways you can use your house to serve others. Being able to afford a house, any house, is a blessing. But let’s not greedily hug our house plans to our chest, dreaming of only the amenities that this blessing will bring us and our own little family. I’m not saying we can’t enjoy a large laundry room or look forward to having tea in the sun room. But have we really thought out how we can use our homes to continually bless and serve others? If we can afford to have an extra guest room or suite, there are always opportunities to host overnight guests. Maybe visiting missionaries or preacher’s families. Maybe traveling friends or family members. We’ve been very blessed in our current home to have two possible guest rooms and we’ve enjoyed offering those spaces whenever we’re able to.
We also love to host groups – our big family comes over for at least one meal during Christmas; we host family birthday parties, Pinterest parties, certain meetings, and Sunday school class get-togethers. Yes, it takes some work. But hospitality is something that is important to me – and Jeremy helps me with that goal. He’s super good at helping to clean the house!
In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. {Matthew 5:16}
#3 Pray to God, asking Him to guide you in this process. Yep, it’s an easy step – but are we actually following through with this advice? I mentioned to Jeremy that we should be specifically praying this – he automatically agreed, and it is quickly removing my frustrations. Thinking back, I remember several instances in my life where I asked for help in a particular area and it was truly amazing to see His follow-through. It was like He completely enjoyed surrounding me with help and guidance and I know that house-hunting will be no different!
The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him. {Psalm 28:7}
#4 Listen for nudges. Truly, I don’t know or understand EXACTLY how the Holy Spirit works in our lives, but I liken it to feeling “nudges.” That very word was mentioned in a recent Sunday school class right as I was thinking almost that same comment. So if I feel a little wary of how much square footage we’d be acquiring (and how much we’d be spending for it) or feeling convicted that we certainly don’t NEED a walk-in closet as big as a bedroom, perhaps that’s the Spirit nudging me in a better direction. Ask yourself, “Will adding this feature to my house be a true need or simply a luxury?” Not that we can’t have any luxury in our lives…frankly, our super comfortable bed or a working oven are luxuries that many people in third world countries cannot afford. I’m talking about things more along the lines of, say, an outside kitchen. That’s super nice and it would be lovely, but is that luxury worth the money you will have to spend to make it happen? Remember, there can be other, more God-honoring ways to spend our money.
(P.S. I’m not saying that outside kitchens are for heathens. 😉 By all means, if you have a ton of money, you already give a lot of it away, and you would actually USE an outside kitchen, have at it! Or maybe you’d choose to have an outside kitchen instead of more square footage inside. There are no hard and fast rules – that’s why we’ve gotta ponder and pray during this process.)
#5 Ask for wisdom from other heaven-minded home owners. Look for people who use their house to serve others. Pick their brains about what works and doesn’t work – for hosting big groups or what have you. Would they change anything about their home to make Christian service easier and better? (Again, nothing will be perfect this side of heaven, but I’m a big believer in making those things easier so you’ll be prompted to serve others more often.)
#6 Ask yourself, “Am I doing this to impress others?” Be honest. Is this the main reason we want to have people over? Of course when we’ve worked hard (especially when we creative types have decorated it all up pretty) we like to hear, “Oh, your house is beautiful!” But what I really want is to welcome people into a cozy atmosphere to get to know each other better. A real homey home can be a big part of that.
#7 Don’t be house-poor…or “cleaning poor.” The first thing Jeremy and I DON’T want is to end up house poor. We might have a big, lovely house, but no extra money in the budget to do anything fun – or to be able to give others in need. Not cool. And our friend Sylvia adds the “cleaning poor” part. Jeremy and I went to see her and her husband’s house a few weeks ago. We wanted to look at their garage and upstairs apartment to see if we might want to build something similar while we save up more money to build the rest of our house. They enjoy their house a lot, but now that only the two of them live there (her mother passed away and their daughter is on her own now) it’s a lot of house! She has to spend more time than she wants to cleaning it. And as cleaning house is not a favorite activity of mine, well, that’s definitely something to remember!! 😉
#8 Decide whether or not a potential house plan might bring bonding experiences for your family or only give you more opportunities to spend time apart. Study your chosen house plan. Is there room to gather in the kitchen? Is there a comfortable family room or great room to hang out in as a family? It’s kind of O.K. with me if kids’ room aren’t huge – that just may encourage them to come on down to spend time with everyone else. 😉 I like the idea of an office/study space that’s big enough for Jeremy and me both to use at the same time. I enjoy bonding time even while making a budget or doing our taxes.
What if our house is so big we never even have to see each other? What if he’s got his “man cave” and I’ve got my craft room at the other end of the house and never the twain shall meet? It may not be likely, because we actually enjoy spending time together. But still…there’s something about a bigger-than-normal house that might possibly encourage time apart in place of building Team Hicks. And I’m not willing to risk it.
#9 Remember that this is only your (very) temporary home. Are we spending at least as much time thinking and talking about and planning to go to our eternal home? What a sad waste if we are not! Let’s remind ourselves to keep searching for the unseen, even as we wade through all the Pinterest pins that we can see. 😉
Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. {Matthew 6:19-20}
What about you? Do you have any wisdom to add to this list? More ideas we might need to consider? Let me know!
