I just love my friend Nicole! She is super fun to be around – she is thoughtful and funny and wise. We have tons in common – one thing being that we were both single throughout our twenties, when most of our friends had already paired off and gotten married. I asked her to write this post especially for Valentine’s Day because I knew she would have encouraging things to speak to single ladies. And she definitely does! =) Enjoy! ~Kristen
Single. On Valentine’s Day. Again. Great.
Those used to be my thoughts coming up to Valentine’s Day. Every. Year.
I was determined not to be a bitter, negative and complaining woman who HATED Valentine’s Day and wore all black because I was in mourning of my singleness and could not stand the sight of or even hearing about the ushy-gushy, love birds making wonderfully romantic plans on Valentine’s Day. Ugh…
At times, I did ponder if I should wear all black and join in the bitter train and embrace my self-pity by watching a romantic comedy and eating the greasiest, highest calorie Take-Out I could find and then eating a whole pint of Ben & Jerry’s “Everything But The” (which still to date is my favorite ice cream ever). I wanted to completely give into my very self-serving, gluttonous, woe-is-me, pity party. I will not deny the possibility that some of the above might have actually taken place; however, I will not confirm it either. 😉 😉
So, while in my mid-to-late twenties and living with two of my closest friends at the time, I decided to throw a Single Ladies’ Valentine’s Day Party! I just knew it was going to be PHENOMENAL! We were going to have door prizes, games, an opportunity to create ‘Your Perfect Man,’ an assortment of fondue monstrosities, and overall…A Party That ALL Dating Women Would Envy!!!
We invited every single friend we could think of and delegated various food items and game/craft items for each person to bring. The closer it got to Valentine’s Day, the more excited we became!!! I honestly don’t remember being this excited about any Valentine’s Day I had ever had before. I mean, going on a date is fun, (stress inducing at times), especially at the beginning of a relationship, but later on, dating during a holiday can become quite worrisome such as, “What am I going to buy him?,” “What is he going to get me?,” “How much should I spend?,” “I hope our gifts are comparable,” etc.
BUT. THIS party? It was ALL about HAVING FUN, BEING HAPPY, and ENJOYING each other’s company, AND BEING HOPEFUL about MY – and OUR – future Mr. Rights!!!
The first thing (my favorite part) I focused on was decorating our apartment SUPER CUTE with red, pink, and white heart cut-outs that we taped to the walls and mirrors and had hanging from red yarn from the ceiling in the living room. We had wooden signs painted with red, pink, and white lettering all about LOVE, and little bowls of red, pink, and white M&M’s sitting around, as well as some blown up red, pink, and white balloons scattered around on the floor. Our apartment was BURSTING with colors of LOVE, HAPPINESS, and HOPE! It was HIDEOUSLY AMAZING!!!
Second, we had fondue pots galore with all kinds of melted dips such as various cheeses, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, caramel, and fruit dip, all with various dipping items such as pretzel sticks, breads, pound cake squares, bananas, strawberries, grapes, and marshmellows, as well as pizza bites, chips, soft drinks, and hot chocolates (back before coffee was THE thing to drink). It was ABSOLUTELY SCRUMPTOUS!!!
Third, when each person arrived they were assigned a certain number for a specific activity. Each willing participant would put on some red Mary Kay lipstick (from small samples donated by my roommate who was selling MK) and kiss a 3X5 index card (with their number on the front corner). Then they were to tape it up on the entry way mirror and after everyone had arrived, each person was to go and vote on who they thought had “The BEST KISS”! The WINNER got a PRIZE (a small bag of MK samples)! Also when each person arrived, they drew a number out of a bowl, which would be their number throughout the evening for door prizes. We tried to draw every 15 minutes so that everyone got a small prize during the evening. It was great advertisement for my roommate’s MK business and each attendee got a little something special just for showing up and hanging out!
Fourth, we had a table set up where you could make a collage of “YOUR PERFECT MAN” using magazine clippings of models, clothes, quotes, and various items describing hobbies and places you would like to go with your perfect match! We used construction paper, scissors, glue and lots of magazines that several of us brought to help us create our “PERFECT MAN”! It was so much fun to visit as we searched for attributes and qualities that we wanted to illustrate our future husbands. We shared our collages with the rest of the group, which would then bring about lots of fun comments and at times, some very interesting stories. I’m smiling just thinking about all the FUN we had describing our different desires and needs for each of our future mate. What FUN we had indeed!!!
The last event of the evening happened spontaneously and came out of everyone visiting and ending up in a circle…wanting to know more, wanting to be better prepared, informed, and equipped for our next serious relationship or possibly even our future marriage. We took the opportunity and asked for anyone willing to do so, to anonymously ask questions of the group by writing a question or two down on a strip of paper and folding it up and putting it in a bowl. Then we passed the bowl around and each person read a question aloud and whoever wanted to answer it could answer it or make a comment. It made for a wonderful and stimulating conversation. We grew closer that evening, closer to each other and closer to figuring out who we thought we wanted or needed for our future Mr. Right. It was simply lovely.
The evening did not disappoint, at least from my perspective and from comments made by others in attendance. This party was a light for me and hopefully for many other ladies that evening. I have looked at Valentine’s Day very differently since that party. There was a renewed hope and happiness in me for Valentine’s Day from that point forward. I’m not sure exactly why but I think it’s because God always has a hand in helping us see His light in things. I believe He brought some wonderful Christian ladies together that night for the purpose of connecting us to one another, instilling a HOPE in us again for His power in our lives, and helping us to trust that He is always going to take care of us if we put Him first, whether our story ends in marriage or not.
I have the quote from Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart…” in my kitchen to help me to always remember to trust in Him. The rest of that verse says, “and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight.” We just have to put our trust in Him and He will always lead us where we should go. May you always place your trust in the Lord and let Him direct your paths.
Being single on Valentine’s Day can be a blessing in disguise. If we open our eyes, we’ll realize that Valentine’s Day is for everyone. Love is for everyone. His Love is for ALL of us.
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Nicole is a wife to Michael and mother to two boys Archer, 3, and Anderson, almost 2. She is the Director of the University Counseling Center at Freed-Hardeman University, where she has worked for the past 12 years. She loves to decorate and travel as well as spend time with her family. When she grows up, she wants to work for JoJo and Chip on Fixer Upper along with the rest of America. ?
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